Addiction Recovery Program Step 1

Step one:  Do you feel encompassed or trapped?  When do you feel this way most often?

I have felt very encompassed and trapped when I start to hang around the wrong people or allow media or people’s opinions to sway me from my spirituality and my relationship from my Heavenly Father.  When I choose to start with my addiction again I feel powerless and completely trapped by my poor decision. 

Question:  What situations or feelings weakened you so you gave into your addiction?

Loneliness would be my number one feeling which in turn causes me to call old friends and hang out with people or at places that I know are trouble for me.  Then I start feeling depressed and things spiral very very very quickly. 

Question:  When Nephi felt overwhelmed in whom did he place his trust?  What can you do to place more trust in the Lord?

I can go to church, read the scriptures, and pray with more trust in the Lord.  Really trust that his answers ultimately are exactly what is supposed to happen despite me not understanding in the moment. 

Scripture:  Moses 1:10  It came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man.  And he said unto himself, now for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed. 

Question:  How did Moses describe himself as compared to God?

Moses realized at that time he was nothing.  He was weak as a natural man.  I think this really surprised Moses. 

Question:  How can a little child be of infinite worth and still be nothing when compared to his or her parents?

A little child has not sinned, thus is perfect and is of infinite worth.  Parents have started being accountable for actions and also possibly have taken upon covenants and have been tried, and truly practiced principles. 

Question:  In what ways are you nothing when you do not have the help of God?

Without the help of God I am just a woman that is imperfect.  With God there is nothing that is impossible.  He provides me with everything that I need for the eternities.  As a natural woman is limited to this life and is weak. 

Question:  Write about how recognizing your helplessness helps you overcome your addiction on your own can bring you to admit your own nothingness and become as a little child.

When I realized I was completely helpless in my addiction I prayed to God on my knees and was humbled to the core, asking and pleading for his protection.  I realized I was nothing and I would be dead without him.  I was and still am a small, weak little child and my Father is protecting and guiding me. 

Scripture:  Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled.  Matthew 5:6 

Scripture:  And my soul hungered.  And I kneeled down before my maker and I cried until him in mighty prayer in supplication for mine own soul.  And all the day long did I cry unto him.  Yea and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.  Enos 1:4

Question:  In these two scriptures we learn that our souls can hunger.  Do you ever feel empty inside, even when you are not physically hungry?  What causes that emptiness?

Prior to returning to church I had an immense feeling of hunger but I did not know for which or what I was hungry for.  I prayed for the understanding and after church I felt so full of the spirit and God’s love.  Then I realized for the past 15 years I had starved myself of the spirit and the blessings that were waiting for me to seek out. 

Question:  How can your hunger for things of the spirit help you to be more honest?

The hunger makes me want to do the right things which first is honesty.  Without honesty first I cannot move forward with recovery and repentance.  Thus, things stand still.  With honestly I can truthfully look at myself and continue to grow.  Honesty is the root of recovery and a happy fulfilling eternal life. 

Quotation:  “Some may regard the quality of character known as honesty to be a most ordinary subject but I believe it to be the very essence of the gospel.  Without honesty our lives will degenerate into ugliness and chaos.”  Gordon B. Hinckley  “We Believe in Being Honest” Ensign  October 1992

Question:  Write about ways you have lied and attempted to hide your addiction from yourself and others.  How has this behavior caused ugliness and chaos?

I continually covered one lie with another until the point that the lies were so big and impossible to cover it exploded.  I caused my family and friends so much pain and hurt.  I hurt myself severely to this day.  I still have consequences of those lies that come up from time to time to remind me of the ugliness and chaos. 

Because ye are compelled to be humbled blessed are ye.  For a man sometimes if he is compelled to be humbled, seeketh repentance.  And now surely whosoever repenteth shall find mercy.  And he that findeth mercy and endureth to the end the same shall be saved.  Alma 32:13

Write about the circumstances that have compelled you to humility and to seek repentance.  What hope does Alma give you?  How can you find or receive that hope?

In 2003 it was my addiction.  In 2012 it was emptiness and wanting to know the truth about the gospel.  That I can be saved if I seek repentance and endure to the end. 

Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord.  But they that deal truly are his delight.  Proverbs 12:22

Writing the answers to these questions has called for a deep level of honesty about yourself.  How does this passage of scripture relate to this kind of honesty?  How can you become the Lord’s delight?

To be truly honest of myself and with God makes God happy and I believe makes Him rejoice because with honesty allows all of God’s children to be saved and return to him someday which is what God truly wants. 

To listen to an actual ARP 12 step meeting focused on Step One: Honesty
Please visit http://www.mormonchannel.org/addiction-recovery-program/honesty-step-1

The Addiction Recovery Guide is available as a PDF (24 languages) or mp3.

More information is available on arp.lds.org.